Wedding Etiquette for Guests

My normal day to day in the wedding industry focuses my
attention on the bride and groom most of the time but as this wedding season swings underway, I would like to take a minute to thank those who eat the wedding cake, catch the bouquet and blow the bubbles in the picture of the memorable send off.  The guests are the people who make weddings happen.  Without your grandma, Aunt Kelly and your new in-laws to ooh and ahh over your decadent décor, everyone would just elope.  Giving the spotlight to these patient participants I would like to site the great Emily Post on some great tips for being a gracious wedding guests and not a royal pain.  At some point in everyone’s life one will open the mailbox and pull out a beautifully addressed envelope for some upcoming nuptials.  It is important to take in consideration the time, preparation and money involved in a wedding. Take every opportunity to convey feelings of honor, appreciation and congratulations. 

Seriously, Respond to the R.S.V.P

The little cards or RSVP information that comes with the invitation allows the couple to finalize their plans for the reception. As most meals are priced per person, a considerable amount is spent on the accommodations of your meal and wedding cake portion also in some cases, candy buffets or other snacks post ceremony/ pre reception.  These combined costs can run from $25.00 to $65.00 per person on average.  It is considered very inappropriate to bring anyone with you to the wedding, even your children,
if their names are not included on the invitation. Don't inconvenience the couple by asking if you can bring someone as they set their guest list according to their budget and space limitations, and who they want to attend their special day.  It is in poor taste to
increase the wedding budget without offering financial relief.


Save Your Thigh High Boots for Clubbing

Unless the invitation expresses otherwise, dress in appropriate attire for any wedding you attend. The proper attire for one wedding may not be the same as another. The proper attire depends on the location, time and formality of the wedding. The
wedding invitation and the time of the wedding will be your best guide to its  formality.  For most weddings the
attire will be formal, semi formal or informal/casual. 
For formal wedding in the daytime, a cocktail dress or dressy afternoon dress is best.  At night, a formal
  wedding requires on a long evening gown or dressy cocktail dress with gloves optional.  Semiformal weddings in
the day call for a dressy afternoon dress, suit or pantsuit. 
At night semiformal looks include cocktail dress or dressy pantsuit.  Informal weddings offer guests a more relaxed mood. In the day a nice afternoon dress or dressy skirt with pants or blouse. 
At night an afternoon or cocktail dress is appropriate. 

 Looks to avoid include
Clothing that’s too skimpy or overtly provocative.
 (hint nothing thigh high or plunging)
Costumes, except when you’ve been expressly asked to dress to the wedding theme
Blue jeans and T-shirts.
Any jewelry that calls attention to your own faith when attending a
service of another faith.
Baseball or sports caps; large fashion hats that block other guests’
view of the ceremony.
Casual shoes or boots with formal or semiformal outfits.
Sunglasses worn indoors
(except for a legitimate medical reason).
Boutonnieres or corsages unless supplied by the hosts.
Keep bright colors to a minimum.

Don’t Just Attend the Ceremony, Be Present

Turn your cell phone
off during the ceremony. Avoid taking pictures as the flash from your camera may interfere with the professional photographer's equipment. As many hours of dedication and practice has been established to put on this perfectly choreographed show, don't talk or make any noises during the ceremony.  Pull your head up from your phone and participate in the watching of the ceremony instead of tweeting your presence there.  If the ceremony
follows religious traditions that you don't believe in, be quiet and respectful during those ceremonies. If you arrive late, do not walk before the bride or make a spectacle. Instead, wait until after the bride has walked down the aisle---without peeking---and quietly enter through a side aisle if possible.


Half Social Butterfly Half Fly on the
Wall
True. No one called you and asked if you mind sitting next to Aunt Ida or the friend the bride went to school with.  Try
to remember the couple has invited their family members and friends to share this special day and you are one of them. 
Be gracious, talk to the couple to congratulate them and offer your best wishes, but avoid taking up too much of their time. Remember that everyone in attendance is there to celebrate the couple. Talk to everyone who's sitting at the same table as you, even if you don't know them. Deep, personal conversation isn't necessary, but
small talk is polite. Avoid taking to the dance floor before the wedding couple, as it's their party.




Respect the Gift Wishes

Whether the happy couple is registered at Lowes, contributing to
their favorite charity or requesting cash to contribute to their new house fund send a gift regardless of your attendance.  It is proper to send the give ahead of time to a predefined location so the bride and groom won’t have to lug everything home or make arrangements for them if the honeymoon immediately  follows.  Also it is easy for envelopes of cards and or cash to get lost, stolen or otherwise misplaced in the hurried bustle of the event.  If
indicated, gifts can be brought to the reception and placed on a predestinated table.


 All in all one should be honored to be included in the ceremony
of love.  Show your appreciation by dressing appropriately, being on time and on your best behavior. 
Remember…….


“The good guest is almost invisible, enjoying
him- or herself, communing with fellow guests, and, most of all, enjoying the
generous hospitality of the hosts.” 

— E.
Post